Driving back on Southern California freeways crowded with tourists benefiting from the final glorious summer weekend…an ache in my breast, a dark shadow where sunlight once shone, an eclipse in my existence…I left my daughter, my sunshine, at the university in San Diego.
How long have I prepared for this transition, how many soulful meditations, how many intimate conversations with so a number of other mothers who’ve been through this phase of life. Yet notwithstanding all might work, throughout that last kiss goodbye, the cords that bound our hearts pulled so tight to nearly snap.
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I released my son into the world four years back, but my daughter filled up the room he left out, so much to ensure that now there’s a void in my heart, in my home, in my life.
Having counseled my patients, hundreds of these, through life’s transitions, I ought to know better, I ought to take my own advice. Haven’t I told them how within the internet of life, we float upon the river of consciousness, connected by invisible threads from heart chakra to heart chakra? Attached to everyone, and entangled with all we like, all we hate, all with whom we struggle.
So now as a mother of an empty nest, some would propose that I slice the cord for her wellbeing and mine. But that’s a classic paradigm teaching and an illusion for we could never cut ourselves removed from creation. We’re all online connected together. There’s only among us here. We’re all area of the One Consciousness, all cells of the One Being. Every cell in my body knows it’s a part of me just like I am a area of the earth and sunlight, the plants and the creatures. Research by neuro-biologist, Candace Pert PhD, has shown that even when cells, tissues, or whole organs are removed, that the cells “remember” where they came from responding more just like the donor compared to transplant recipient.
And I am connected to my daughter, imprinted since her birth, no matter how distant she is from me.
I understand this to be true, because I can feel her emotion, especially her fear…it has waken me up in the middle of the night when she’s most needed me. I trust this connection even more so than my vision. It’s served me as a mother and especially as a healer. Personally i think my patients’dis-ease in the mirror of my being, but I have discovered through the years to not embody their imbalances. Although connected to each and everyone, I have discovered to disentangle from the drama to be a healer and this is exactly what I teach to my patients.
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Imagine your life color being an infinitely strong gossamer thread emerging from your own heart chakra to one’s heart of each and every other living thing. Each part of creation has its color, born on the rainbow of light; its vibration, its sound. Imagine someone you are struggling with-your spouse, your son or daughter, your parent, your boss, whoever. What is their color? Imagine their cord and your cord braided as well as knots scattered here and there. These knots represent your struggles, your difficulties in the partnership, your entanglements with each other.
A lot of the people I counsel-my patients, my children, my friends-complain about the dramatic struggle of their relationships, know that they must make a change, come if you ask me for help…and I let them know to disentangle from that being they are struggling with. We do the visualization together. They see their color, they see the color of the other person, they see themselves tangled up in knots, they feel this entanglement literally being an ache within their breast, however when I begin to have them identify the knots within their cords of attachment, while they are able to name the difficulties that the knots represent, they don’t know how to untangle themselves. In fact the majority are afraid, most claim they can’t let go.
Upon the river of consciousness all of us float, but entangled with others we struggle for breath, trussed together heart to heart, only one can breathe at any given time, while one other holds her breath and prays. Everyone inside our lives is a reflection to your souls, each reflecting back what we most need to learn, the judgments we your hands on our humanity. What we like in another is what we appreciate in ourselves, what we dislike is what we must change or accept in us.
So how can you see in the mirror if your nose is pressed to the glass? That’s why my patients struggle with disentanglement because they can’t see clearly what the lesson is in the struggle with another.
So I make them identify the most recent knot and going back time a couple of more knots. Oh, they are able to name the knots, however not the gifts. What gifts? What could possibly be good about these struggles? Why, I let them know, every struggle is really a gift that must be unwrapped. For the gift, first you have to recognize it as a gift. Not all gifts have lovely exteriors actually the absolute most precious may be very ugly.
My Nana used to wrap up her garbage. Living in the town, the more compact the trash, the more likely the trash man would take it away, except Nana used to wrap it so nicely that Poppop would believe it is left on the step. The trash man thought it absolutely was a present, so lovely was the wrapping. You see, you can’t always tell by the wrapping; life’s gifts are rarely wrapped so nicely.